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2ACV08: Raging Bender
- Shhh, you're gonna get us all assimilated.
- Nah, I'm not in the mood for a historical documentary. I've heard good things about "Quizblorg, Quizblorg".
- No, you've got to do it. I don't care how suicidal it is. [Fry: "Hey, how come when I want to do fun stuff that'll kill me, you're against it?"] This is more important than that marble eating contest, Fry, it's about pride. Let me tell you a story from my childhood. [Zoidberg: "Urgh, again with the Orphanarium."]
- When I was growing up at the Orphanarium, I got picked on a lot. My only outlet was Octurin Kung Fu.
- But Master Phnog, I can beat these dorks with one eye closed.
- What do you mean? Watch this! [Leela kicks a pupil, he cries.]
- That's it, I'll take you on, right now.
- I lost my chance to be a champion, I won't let you throw away yours.
- Get up, Bender! You can't quit every time you get an axe in the back. [Bender gets dragged away.] Or a drill through your face. Now, quit scratching your axehole and get out there.
- Bender, you're three hours late. You can't give up on your training now, after both of us worked so hard. [Bender: "What do you mean 'we'?"] I said us.
- No way, if you wouldn't take my help when you didn't need it, why should I give it to you now when you do need it? [Farnsworth: "What the Hell are you talking about?"] I don't know, but I'm not helping.
- [Phnog laughing in the background.] Not Phnog. Bender, let's hit the gym, I'm gonna to teach you to fight like a girl. [Bender: "I'll put on my tutu."]
- According to the script, you're supposed to prance out and tickle him with your fairy wand. Instead, I want you to prance out and kick his head off.
- Keep laughing, Phnog. [Phnog starts laughing.]
- Ok, Phnog, that's enough, call him off.
- So, once more we meet again. [Phnog exclaims, surprised.] You didn't train Destructor, you're just controlling him like a puppet. I mean, cheating in a fake fight, that's low!
- Oh, right, girls lack the will of the warrior. [Leela gives out her battle cry and kicks Phnog.]
- I'm proud of you Bender. Sure you lost, you lost bad. But the important thing is, I beat up someone who hurt my feelings in high school. Haha!
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