Futurama

Untitled Leela Fan Fiction
By Marissa

Part 1

Hey, fanfiction fans! Today you will be treated  to the first of three parts of my fanfiction! What's the name of it.... I don't know! I never named it :) I was writing it three weeks ago and couldn't think of a title, before I knew it it was time for it to run in the FFOR and it's still nameless! So I just call it "Leela Captian Story" :) Hehe. Enjoy, e-mail me if you like it, e-mail me if you hate it. Also e-mail me if you have suggestions for a title. Read, enjoy, and don't forget there's two more parts coming.

Our story opens somewhere in the Renghft zone.

Our heroes, Fry, Bender, and Leela namely, are rushing to get a late delivery done.

"Hurry, Leela, at this rate we won't make it back to earth for the `I Love Lucy' marathon!", Fry says with a panicky tone.

"I am hurrying! And we wouldn't be in this situation if you hadn't tried to hide Bender's mustard ice cream surprise in the control panel, shorting out the system... you should of hidden it in the plant, nothing kills a cactus.", Leela replies. Fry notices their plant has wilted.

"As far as I'm concerned, you're both idiots. Now shut up, I'm downloading something very important.", Bender speaks up. He then closes his eyes and continues his download, while mumbling softly, "Oooh, here it comes...neck.....  shoulders... just a little further... WHAT?! Error while receiving data!? Damn Universe Explorer."

Leela sighs and continues driving. Suddenly red lights begin flashing around them.

"Aaah! We're all gonna die!!", Fry screams and ducks behind a chair. Leela sighs again.

"Fry-y! It's just an incoming transmission." She presses a button and a screen zooms down.

"Attention unidentified ship, you are speeding in a residential nebula.  Parallel park in the quardanants given for further inspection.", says an official looking person over the video phone.  Leela gulps.

Cut from that scene to Fry and Leela waiting in line at an official-looking building, a sign on the wall says "Department of Space Vehicles".

"I can't believe they're making me re-test for my captain's liscense.", Leela moans.

"Number 43, now serving number 43.", a computer voice says over the speakers.  Leela looks down at her ticket -- number 5,789.

"Well, we're going to be here a while, I wish I remembered to water my house plants before we left.", Leela says to Fry.

"At least Bender seems to be enjoying it.", Fry points down the line of people.

Bender walks along while humming to himself, he then sticks his arm out deliberately whacking into people.

"Sorry, `cuse me, coming through, hot soup.", he mumbles.... and then while out of sight of the people chuckles to himself when he reveals several wallets, two wedding rings, and a gold watch.

Eight hours later....

Fry is asleep on the floor by Leela's feet, Leela kicks him softly.

"Fry, wake up, you're drooling on my boots."

"Please, mommy, just five more minutes...", Fry mumbles, yawns, and rolls over. Leela looks a little tired herself, and is about to doze off standing up, when she is awaken by......

"Number 5,789, you're up."

"Oh, finally...", Leela says relieved as she heads up to the counter. Suddenly a bell sound goes off.

"Sorry.", says the person at the counter.  "We're closed. Come back tomorrow and get a new number."

Leela lets out a frustrated groan, sighs, and grabs Fry by the hair.

"Come on, let's go."

Just then, Leela hears a familiar voice.

"Well, well, well.  Long time no see, Leela is it?"

Leela whirls around and drops Fry to see the smirking face of somebody from her past.

"Terri, Terri Harlens?", Leela says, surprised and almost stuttering. That was the popular, blond, snooty girl that she had often competed with in High School. Following behind her were two obedient crew members. Why, oh, why did Terri have to be a starship captain?!, Leela though to herself.  "What brings you here?"                           

"Oh, just registering my new spaceship. I was just given a huge promotion. And you.... tsk, tsk, tsk.", Terri says in her usual smug tone of voice. "You? A captain? I can see why you have to reapply for a license. And is that your crew member?", Terri pointed at Fry who started stirring and finally woke up.

"(yawn) But Ricky, I wanna be in the show...", he says, half awake. Terri cackles.

"Well, Leela don't feel bad, we all weren't born to be winners!" she scoffs.  Terri then motions to her crew members, who laugh on command.  Leela's eye lowers to an angry slit, and she tries her best not to grab Terri and squeeze her until her eyes pop out.  She couldn't let her have the satisfaction of being the best....

"Terri, wait!", Leela calls out. Terri and her crew stop and turn around. "On behalf of Planet Express Delivery Service, I challenge you to a contest to see who's the better captain."

"I accept.", Terri answers. "This'll be easy, I'll just beat you again like I did at soccer, singing, dancing, softball, painting...." Terri continues on as she walks out the door. In the background, Bender attempts to get through a metal detector (while all the stolen belongings rattle inside him). Leela turns to Fry and asks him.

"What have I gotten myself into...."

Part 2

Okay, catch up time: Leela and the gang are caught speeding because they're late on a delivery, and Leela ends up temporarily losing her license. While she's waiting to re-apply, she runs into Terri -- an old rival -- and blurts out a challenge. Now a week later, the competition is set. Planet Express vs. Universe Deliveries.

The gang is gathered around the usual table while Hermes lectures them.

"And so, I come to the conclusion that Bambi's mom didn't really die, so you can all stop worrying. Next week we can discuss the Lion King.  Now, in actual business, tonight's competition will be a race between our spaceship crew and Universe Delivery's.  Topheia, the shoe planet, ordered two crates of socks. The first company to deliver their crate wins, and the loser's will have their crew's picture on the cover of `Complete Idiot Magazine'." Hermes leans closer to Leela. "And Planet Express better not lose..." Leela gulps nervously.

Cut to Leela working on the ship. Nearby, Fry sits reading a copy of `Complete Idiot Magazine'. Leela sticks her head out from inside the ship.

"Hey, Fry, could you run into the supply room and get me a frigndhrt?", She asks him.

"A what?", Fry replies confused.

"You know, a frigndhrt. It's kind of like a.... dyrgfhkt."

"O...k..."

Fry gets up from his spot and heads toward a supply room, inside he goes and feels the wall for a light switch, and fails to find one. Suddenly he hears a noise and a person starts walking toward him.

"Something tells me I'm having a bad day..", Fry stutters.

"Hey.", says the figure. Fry can't see his face, but he notices a badge on his shirt labeled `Universe Deliveries'.

"What do you want?", Fry asks trying not to show his fear.

"I'll give you ten bucks if you sabotage the race today. Not interested, huh? I suppose I could go as high as... 10,000."

"Te-ten thousand?!", Fry says and starts to think. In a very cartoonish cliche, an angel and a devil pop up on his shoulders.

"You can't do this to Leela and Planet Express!", the Fry-angel says.

"Aw, hell, with ten thou you can buy a new one eyed alien!", the Fry-devil argues.

"But can you get a new delivery company?"

"I dunno. I saw one on eBay for..." The Fry-devil takes out a laptop and while his back is turned, the Fry-angel sees his chance and kicks him off Fry's shoulder.

"Ohhhh, you're right," Fry says aloud.

"Who are you talking to?" the guy says with a confused look.

"I'm sorry, I just can't do it..." Fry says to the mysterious figure, grabs a futuristic object from the supply room, and dashes out.  Fry comes back to the docking bay and presents the object to Leela.

"Fry-y! That's a tanghtdg!", she complains.  Bender walks into the scene and Leela orders him to the supply room.  As with Fry, he walks in and gropes for the light switch, then decides to just turn his eyes up to high beam... which blinds the mysterious figure who had been walking towards him.

"Turn those down, dammit! I'm supposed to look mysterious and threatening!", he says while shielding his eyes.

"Sor-ry.", Bender says and obeys.

"Look, I'll get straight to my point. I'll give you ten bucks if you sabotage the race today. I suppose I could go as high as...."

"Wait, wait, wait," Bender interrupts. Close in on him, and a Bender-devil appears on his shoulder.

"A ten spot AND a chance to humiliate Leela? There's no downside!", the Bender-devil says happily.

Switch to the other side where an Bender-angel appears.... obviously drunk.

"Do wwhatever the 'ell you want.", he slurs. "I'm ggoing to Vegaass!"

"Okay, you said it!", Bender says out loud.

"How many lunatics does this crew have?", the mysterious figure mumbles.

"I'll do it, mysterious stranger!", Bender says, quickly grabbing the ten dollar bill before the guy could make his highest offer :).

Later that day...

Leela and Terri stand locked in a staring contest, and separating them are Hermes and Universe Deliveries's bureaucrat.

"Alroot, yoo all knoe the rooles.", says Universe Deliverie's bureaucrat with a thick Scottish accent.

"The first captain and crew to finish the delivery wins. The race will officially begin when I saw go. On your mark.... get set..... GO!", Hermes announces. Leela and Terri sprint for their ships where their crews are waiting.  This leaves Hermes and his counterpart alone. "So... what grade are you?"

"30."

"Pfft, 30's are always the same."

We now go to the inside of the Planet Express ship, where Leela starts it up and the three take off.  Fry and Leela gasp when they get first glimpse at Terri's ship; it's twice the size of the PE ship.

"Well.... smaller is speedier... right?", Frys says nervously.  Leela wishes she could share his enthusiasm. Terri's ship takes an easy first place, but Leela keeps a steady speed and soon they're tied.

"Well, at least we're caught up.  Still, I can't help thinking that Terri has some kind of trick up her sleeve. She could probably blast off and be at the planet in two seconds any time she wanted too."

"I don't think so...", Fry echoes from the lookout post. "'Cause they're giving us the finger right now."

"Well, if we can keep things close going at a non-stressing speed, we could actually have a shot at winning this. Still, we have to always keep a constant watch on the other ship -- I won't be able to get much sleep tonight."

Bender stands at the bottom of the stairs to the below-deck kitchen eavesdropping. He chuckles to himself and roots though the storage compartments in the kitchen, past jars of pickled fingernails, cactus stir-fry, and other canned goods of that nature until he comes across a bottle of `Hibernation Strength NiQuill' and pours all of it into tonight's dinner....

"And so I said to him, 'What-ev-er!'" Fry says, as if finishing a story over dinner conversation with Leela.

Leela chuckles and Bender brings in their food -- a stew-looking concoction. They poke it curiously with their forks.

"Bender.. what is this?" Fry asks.

"Oh, it's whatever your imagination wants it to be and I spent so much time cooking it... eat...." Bender answers in a peculiar voice.

Fry and Leela look at each other, and then back to their food.  Finally, they each take a bite.

"Not so bad.", Leela says. "But, anyway I don't think I should eat too much, I have to be up driving almost all night. I could use your help too, Fry. I don't think it'll be a problem, though, because I' wide awake..."

Exactly two seconds after those words come out of her mouth, Fry and Leela suddenly collapse on the table. Knocked out and snoring.

Bender's shadow laughs evily on the wall. He sneaks into the control room and turns the steering wheel to veer way off course....

Part 3

When we last left our heros, a competition was set between Leela and her old rival, Terri. The first to deliver their package to the planet Topheia is the winner! However, Bender succombs to a mysterious stranger's bribe to sabotage the race and just when things are looking good for the Planet Express crew, Bender drugs Fry and Leela's food; leaving them fast asleep while the ship veers farther and farther off course.

"Oooh... my head...", Leela moans. "Feels like I've been sleeping on a fork..." She lifts her head to see that she indeed had been sleeping on a fork at their dinner table. "Where am I? What time is it?", Leela says as she stretches and yawns. Suddenly her eye widens as she remembers the race and what happened last. "Oh my God! Fry, wake up!" She shakes Fry and then runs into the control room.  The navigational devices are all turned off, and the display out their window looks unfamiliar. Fry trudges in, still half asleep, but he wakes up when he sees their predicament. Bender walks in, whistling and looking at a robot porn magazine.  He looks up to see Fry and Leela giving him angry glances. His whistling gets slower until it stops and he drops the magazine.

"Uh-oh, I'm boned.", he mumbles and dashes from the room. Leela runs after him and Fry follows a jump and a skip behind her.  She easily corners Bender and pins him to the wall.

"Any last words, Bender-dict Arnold?", she says with a glare.

"It wasn't my fault, I swear! If only you would of eaten more of my food, the NiQuill wouldn't of worn off this early!", Bender pleads.

"Come on, Leela. Killing Bender won't do anything!", Fry yells out of breath as he runs up to the two.

"Well, it would make him dead.", Leela says with an insane smile.  She then losens her grip. "Oh, I'm sorry. All this competiton has got me a little crazy. "

"We still might be able to catch up...", Fry suggests hopefully.

"No. Even if we located ourselves, turned the ship around, and turned it up to hyperspeed, we still wouldn't make it in time.", she says sadly. 

Leela starts to trudge back into the control room, and Fry follows. When they get out, Fry walks over to the window and stares out into space. A few seconds later, his eyes widen.

"YAAAAAAHH!", he screams and Leela and Bender quickly rush over.

"What is it?", Leela asks, and then gasps when she looks out the window. There is, what looks like some kind of colorful disturbance in space.  "It's a elastic nebula... I've never seen one before..... and we're headed right toward it!!! Everybody hold on to something..."

The ship goes hurtling toward the strange disturbance, when it hits it it slows down... and then goes hurtling back in the direction they came from.... many times faster! (As a rubber ball bouncing against a wall. So what if I'm breaking laws of science, Cubert, it's just a cartoon! I think I got a C+ in physics :P) Leela and Fry scream at the increadable speed (to parody Ren & Stimpy) and red lights flash.  Leela turns to Fry.

"Hey... if we could steer this thing, we may have a chance!", she yells.  Leela manages to crawl to the control panel (the three of them are anchored at the back of the ship due to the speed) and grabs hold of the steering wheel; she tries to control it but has difficulty. Fry moves to help her, and still the two of them aren't strong enough. Fry looks back and sees Bender, slips him twenty bucks, and then the three of them working together, are able to control the ship.

Meanwhile....

Terri lays relaxed at the controls of her ship.

"Planet in sight, captain!", a crew member says while approaching her.

"Good, good, prepare for landing. Any sight of the Planet Express crew?"

"None, ma'am." The crew member makes a fist, punches his stomach, forehead, and them salutes. (The salute of the  31st future, if you know your Futurama :)) Terri sighs, gets up, and streatches.

"This was way too easy.  Mental note: make sure Leela knows I'm better than her. Mental note: Pick up drycleaning. Mental note: Stop talking to myself."

The ship docks in the bay of the planet, and the crew members begin to take down the crate.

"Wait!", Terri commands. She takes out a makeup mirror, "I have to look my best to rub in Leela's defeat." While Terri concentrates on her appearace, in the background the PE Ship speeds in sight, and lands sideways in the docking bay. Fry, Bender, and Leela run outside pushing the hover dolly and.... deliver the crate into the arms of the alien waiting for it. Terri puts away her accessories.  "... and now to the delivery, I WHO-WHAAAA?!?!?!" she screams when she sees Leela's smiling face, which seemed to come out of nowhere, and the delivered package. "Noooo! I'm supposed to win! Mememe!", Terri jumps up and down, pouting. She turns to her crew, "You EEEDIOTS!!"

"But, Terri, you said...", they start.

"First of all, it's CAPTAIN Terri! Second of all...", Terri continues on. Her crew members look from one to another, then walk off-screen.  "HEY! Where are you going?! I didn't tell you to leave! Come back---mmmph!!" Her crew members gladly put a hand over Terri's mouth, and throw her face first into a garbage can. A light flashes and a shutter snaps, cut to the cover of `Complete Idiot Magazine', three smiling crew members stand around a garbage can with Terri's designer shoes sticking out :).

Leela, Fry, and Bender walk away from the scene in an over-all good mood.

"Thanks, you guys.  You know, for the first time ever, I'm actually glad to have you as my crew!", Leela compliments Fry and Bender.

"Thanks, Leela!", Fry answers.

"You're one swell captain, yourself!", Bender chimes in. The three of them suddenly freeze as if they're in an end-of-the-episode-freeze-frame... then Fry and Bender snap out of it.

"Oooh! Souveneers! Free samples!", Fry yells and dashes off.  Bender follows him shouting ambitions to get drunk. There are a few crashes and screams offscreen. Leela sighs and looks at her wrist computer.

"Well, that feeling lasted 8 seconds."

THE END!