Anthology of Interest III
By Steven Gurman
Int.
Planet Express Random ROom
The
What-If-Machine is Surrounded by the entire Planet Express Crew including Scruffy.
Professor
Good News
Everyone today is the Annual Anthology of Interest. A fun filled day with, mass
amount of announcing, and tons of fake stories that end upwith death and Sorrow.
Point
to the Calendar. January 4 Says Anthology of Interest. January 5th says Mass
Suicide Booth Day.
PROFESSOR
OOOO What
a fun filled week.
FRY
(Obnoxiously
Waving Hand)
Oh Oh
Pick me Pick me oh oh.
PROFESSOR
Yes the
annoying young lad with the oranges in his hair.
FRY
Yes, I
would like to ask the What-If Machine a question.
PROFESSOR
What the
hell would you like to ask? You already know what life would be like if
it was a video game. You Nerd.
FRY
I would
like to know what if I was a robot.
PROFESSOR
What-If-Machine
Fry would like to know what if he was a robot.
Int.Planet Express Random Machine Room
Fry
walks in and no ones in the room. He looks around.
FRY
(To
himself outloud)
Maybe
if I use the Reverse Fossilitation machine on my self I can become a Robot.
No better RoboCop. Wait Wait Even Better the Terminator.Hehehehe.
Fry
puts a small loop in a string and places it over the Electric Handle to turn
on the machine. He walk over to the metal table and pulls the string. Electicity
starts rifling through him. The Electicity stops. Nothing happened.
FRY
What the
hell I thought through some no way possible miracle of science it would turn
me into an unstoppable machine. Sent Foward in time to help the love life of
one eyed lucky lady.
Int. PLanet Express Meeting Room
The
Whole Crew is sitting at the table.
PROFESSOR
Good News
everyone we have recieved a shipment of old weapons circa 1990.
The
Professor pulls out a gun. One shot fires quickly. Everyone looks around Zoidberg
is still. Everyone Gasps.
ZOIDBERG
(In
Annoying weird sound he makes)
Rarrrrrr.
Oh you guys you should of seen your faces it was worth a whole warm meal.
PROFESSOR
Not just
a warm meal 5 no food for five days.
ZOIDBERG
What am
I talking to a brick wall no humor you have.
LEELA
Fry whats
wrong with your eye?
Fry
has a weird cut up eye which now is all red and glowing.
FRY
What?
What are you talking about I'm fine.
AMY
Here look
in this mirror.
Fry
looks into the mirror.
FRY
Yes I
am the terminator it worked.
HERMES
Oh by
the way fry can u pick up Cubert and Dwight. Take the company hovercar.
Ext. School of New New York
Dwight
and Cubert are standing out side of their school waiting to get pick up.
A hover car comes flying out of no where and slams on the breaks in front of
the school with the window down.
FRY
Come with
me you want to Live.
CUBERT
Alright
Mr.Schwarzenegger.
DWIGHT
More Like
Schwarzeloser
CUBERT
Good one
Dwight.
FRY
Alright
just get in.
Ext. Random Street
Fry
and Bender are walking down a street talking
FRY
Ya know
this whole being a robot is as cool as you'd think. Yeah you get to have a cool
saying every now and then but everything else. Eh
BENDER
Yeah but
you get to beat up chumps out of stuff like these guys.
Its
a Girl Scout table selling cookies.
BENDER
Arrrr
Give me everything you got.
FRY
Yeah everything.
Bender
grabs all the cookies and Money.
FRY
Bender
were invincible.
GIRL
SCOUT
I beg
to differ.
The
Girl Scout pulls out a gun and shoot Fry. Fry Drops. Girl Scout takes off her
wig.
GIRL
SCOUT
I'm with
the P.F.T.W.O.G.S. or other known as Police For the Wellfare of girl Scouts.
FRY
Bender
come closer I need to tell you something.
Bender
goes right up to his face Fry gets up a little.
FRY
I'll Be
back. haha that was awesome Ughhhhhhhhhhhh
Bender
hovered over Frys body holds up his hands.
BENDER
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
INT.PLANET
EXPRESS RANDOM MACHINE ROOM
The
Whole Crew is still standing around the machine.
PROFESSOR
Well that
was a horrible written parody of a movie done a 1000 years ago. This Machine
makes me sick.
The
whole crew turn around to see Fry trying to throw the looped string onto the
Handle of the Reverse Fossilitation Machine. Everyone runs over to him.
HERMES
You god
damn idiot.
Fry
gets pulled off the machine and they all go back to the machine.
ZOIDBERG
Master
all my life I wanted to know what it would be like if Zoidberg was the Head
Honcho of Planet Express and the Cooliest.
PROFESSOR
I'd Rather
be Dead.
ZOIDBERG
That can
be arranged maybe?
PROFESSOR
Shut up!
But I will ask the question since you have never had a turn at the How many
ways we can watch people die machine.
PROFESSOR
Zoidberg
wants to know what if He was the Cooliest and the Head Honcho of Planet Express.
INT.
PLANET EXPRESS MEETING ROOM
The
whole Crew is sitting around the table. Zoidberg Walks into the room.
EVERYONE
Yay its
Zoidberg our Favorite Boss.
ZOIDBERG
Please
don't I don't deserve that applause. Anyway Good News Everyone. since me becoming
the owner of Planet Express and the entire world I have made some Strict rules.
But I know our are all my friends and we will all have to work through these
strict rules.
HERMES
Zoidberg
you lousy piece of garbage resign your no good at this Job and you treat everyone
like crap.
ZOIDBERG
Do I?
Do I really my friend Hermes. Take him away.
Three
Guards carry off Hermes away.
Int. Hidden Room in Empty Locker(FEATURED
IN kING AND FRY)
Everyone
except Zoidberg and Hermes are in the secret room.
BENDER
We need
to do something about this creepo Zoidberg.
LEELA
He's taking
over earth making every do slavelabor.
PROFESSOR
Good News
everyone the professor has made a machine to save the day.
FRY
What is
it? huh huh
PROFESSOR
Its a
Gun. A high Powered Rifle Laser.
LEELA
I'll do
it i'll Kill President Zoidberg.
AMY
In an
hour isn't Zoidberg going out to walk nibbler that he stole from you Leela.
LEELA
Yeah thats
when we should do it.
PROFESSOR
This is
the perfect chance to use the Angry Dome.
Int. Angry Dome
Leela
is there ready to shoot Zoidberg walks out of Planet Express with Nibbler.
LEELA
I'm sorry
Zoidberg
Bam
Zoidberg Falls down.
Int. Random Machine Room
Everyone
Standing in front of the What-If-Machine.
ZOIDBERG
What gives
you guys killed me. I also get the suckiest and shortest What-If story ever.
PROFESSOR
Well Sucky
does match your describtion. Any way any one that I like have a question
that they would like to ask the What-If Machine.
AMY
I would
like to know what if I was was somehow forced to live with the mutants.
PROFESSOR
What-If
Machine Amy would like to know what if she was forced to live with the mutants.
Int.Planet
Express Television ROom
Linda
and Morbo are on the T.V
LINDA
Now in
Mutant News. New study's results have come in that the Asian Race of thought
to be humans are actually mutants.
Morbo
Morbo
will miss Fortune Cookies very much.
LINDA
Me too
there has been a nation wide round up of all asians to be relocated to the sewers.
INT.PLANET EXPRESS TELEVISION ROOM
The
whole crew is there.
BENDER
Up Amy
your boned.
AMY
Oh no
how could this happen I'm hideous in a matter of seconds.
PROFESSOR
Science
thats what happened Amy.
AMY
How come
Leela gets to stay and i have to go. Thats bullshit.
LEELA
Amy why
do you have a problem with it now you never had in the past.
AMY
Because
now it involves me.
Police
barge in and grab Amy. Fry walks into the room. He has tape on his eyes slanting
them side ways to look of asian descent.
FRY
Ar Rook
R-I'm R-Amy
SMITTY
Theres another one.
The
Police grab fry
FRY
No it
was a joke see.
Takes
off the tape.
Smitty
Holy shit
he's a transformer.
Url
Maybe
he a more intelligent Mutant.
INT.Sewer
Village
Fry and
Amy are walking down a wooden path and meet up with Munda and Morris.
MUNDA
Amy, Fry,
Leela told me everything you guys are welcome to stay with us until you get
this all sorted out or when someone flushes down a house.
Morris
Ha-Ha
Good Luck. I needed 1 nail for 2 years finally got one then hit it wrong and
bent it.
MUNDA
Morris
were suposed to encourage them.
INT.Turanga's House
They
are all sitting around drinking tea or something that looks like tea.
AMY
So how
long have you guys lived down here.
MUNDA
All our
lives. We were born here as mutants and we will die here as mutants.
FRY
Interesting
so how do we get out of here.
MORRIS
It depends
where do you want to go?
AMY
Planet
Express
MORRIS
Oh that's
easy just make a right, right past our house. Walk for about 5 minutes then
you will see a ladder going up it leads you right into Planet Express.
FRY
Thanks
you scary mutant parents of leela.
Munda
and Morris
Your Welcome
Int. PLanet Express Ship room
Fry
and Amy get up from the the sewers the professor is standing there.
PROFESSOR
I have
been expecting you. What have both of you learned from this little adventure.
FRY
Don't
be Asian
PROFESSOR
Correct
AMY
Koochinayway
INT. RANDOM MACHINE ROOM
They
are all staning around the What-If Machine.
PROFESSOR
Well that
was a distgusting, racist piece of shit story. I think somehow Zoidberg with
his question screwed up the machine.
ZOIDBERG
I'm sorry.
PROFESSOR
Well there
goes another year of uninteresting stories and big wastes of time.
HERMES
And there
goes to me never getting picked.
Scruffy
and there
goes to another year of not getting picked
FRY
And there
goes to another year of not getting picked
HERMES
You did
get picked this time and in fract every year.
FRY
Up Sucks
for you.
THE
END |
