Match 1: Bender vs. Scruffy
 
BENDER'S WEAPON OF CHOICE: A beer bottle
SCRUFFY'S WEAPON OF CHOICE: A microwave
The emperor of Decapo 10 is placing bets. The current favourite? Bender 10-1.
The gong sounds. Scruffy looks fairly unenergised as Bender smashes the beer bottle
on the side and charges at Scruffy shouting 'You jerk!' Scruffy calmly steps aside
and lets Bender smash head first into the side of the arena, knocking his antenna
clean off. 'Little Bender!' he cries, before his sadness turns to rage.
'One to Scruffy, zero to robot,' Scruffy quietly announces. Bender flings the
beer bottle at Scruffy, it knocks off his hat, and sends it into the podium of
fire. 'You burnt Scruffy's hat, Scruffy loved that hat.'
'You're pendin' for a bendin' meatbag!' Bender shouts, picking Scruffy up ready
to bend him.
Then Scruffy gets out his secret weapon: a magnet! It seems it was a free gift
with 'Zero-G Jugs' (Scruffy's pre-fight inspirational reading). Bender flips out
completely, singing, 'how many roads must a man walk down'.
While he is stunned, Scruffy picks up his chosen weapon, the microwave, from
the case at the side of the stadium, he smashes the window and then turns the
microwave on, shattering Bender into pieces. It was lucky he turned up in 'Anthology
of Interest I' or he wouldn't have known that trick.
The Decapo 10 emperor proclaims Scruffy the winner, giving him a medal made
out of sand - actually it's just a pile of sand. 'I found it in my pocket,' explains
the emperor.
'No hard feelings, robot,' offers Scruffy.
Bender isn't a good loser: 'Bite my dismantled metal ass!'
NEXT WEEK: Mom Vs. Professor Wormstrum.
If you can, vote! You can decide the outcome of this Claw Plaque!
|
